| Long time gone and A long time coming |
[05 Jun 2005|11:44pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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Hewwo. It hath been a while. How have you been? Mah loving adoring fans? It has been a LONG time, eh? I'll post everything thats happened. First, I had my birthday on May 7. I am 15. Now officially a year before I can get my permit to drive. Watch out, interstate of Pike!-sings to self- Then school went out on May 23. Sob Sob, I'll never see my senior friends again. Then I had to go to camp for ROTC on May 29. It was fun shit. I got to like climb over walls and everything. And repel. My friend Celena got so scared outta her mind whenever she did it. She is afraid of heights. I got to go to the main last (pretty high)one. And I lost weight. Alot, I think for me-self. And then I came home on June 2. Or 3rd, I dunno. Since then, I dun remember much. Just that I babysat my beautiful cousin Bailey and then I painted my toenails. Yeppers, thats bout it. I WILL loose weight this summer. Enough for people to go, "AMAGAWD, Ashley, you've lost a lot of weight!" And then I will have a better self-esteem. And maybe get a few men in the process of the year. Harry Potter and The Half-blood prince comes out June or July 16. -parties- And the Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire (the movie) comes out this November. I can't wait. Rupert Grint in all his cute, long-haired, freckled, red-hair sexiness. -giggle- Its night. I like night. Yep.I'm gonna go update all my other crap. I have no life. Psst, Watch Phanthom of the Opera. Its hot. O-O
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| Lucky chances, Lonely hearts |
[24 Apr 2005|09:45pm] |
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mood |
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 Thoughts intertwine... |
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Why do we always think something of ourselves?
And in the beginning, It was told.
That our hearts and soul would die,
All from exhaustion and lies.
Why do we run from all that is done
And hope the ending lasts?
A happy story turned into a nightmare.
Angels and Demons, Light and Dark.
What is the divided part of our mind?
Humanity fails to realize
Its pathetic attempt utilize the universe
With all the wonders Of our limited mind.
"Trials of a purpose." By: Ashley Johnson.
I had somewhat of a ephiphany today. Love it all for the moments. Right. Make it yours. -goes insane-
I've been the happiest I've ever been since 5th grade. Life actually seems to be going right, alhtough nI still haven't found that one guy who would complete me. Eh, not that loves everything. People make it seem like the world evovles around love. And nothing else. But if you make something of yourself. Its everything you could ever wish for. Sex, lies, drug, and videotapes. Mwhahaha. I've heard that somewhere. I'm making something of myself. I will BE someone. I love dancing, I love acting, I love helping others. Maybe I'll end up being brain-dead from a car accident or buried and to find out that there IS a heaven and a hell. Who knows? I'll live it the way I want. And may God help those who get in my way.
Ashley Abriann Johnson.
Divided amongst others, Spritually and Mentally.
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| And we go in circle again... |
[29 Mar 2005|07:37pm] |
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mood |
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 It burns!! |
] |
Boo-yah! I'm happy right now. Its nice to be happy. Its the first time I've been happy since I went to the moves last Saturday. Personal stuff... I'm over it, but I would like him to feel what I felt that day I came. Like all hope in the world was abandoned. And all that was left to do cry. Crying makes you so much more better, like pouring perioxide on a wound, even though it hurts when your doing it. It disinfect your heart. -blinks- Metaphors are confusing, eh? AAnnnnyywhooo. I'm bringing my camera and taking one good picture of everyone I know. And maybe one of "HIM", lol. With me in the picture...casually..>_> -stalks- LoL. God, I hope he doesn't look at this journal. I'd die....slowly. Eh, what do I care.
I love to write poems..>-> So here's one...
Just written when I was bored and goofy. Bad combo!
Theres a fat man in the corner.
Theres a fat man in the window.
Theres a fat man in my house
Theres a fat man outside my door.
Theres a fat man in my car.
Theres a fat man in my chinimey.
THERES A FAT MAN EVERYWHERE!!!
Oh well...I'm a fat woman.
LoL...I had a bit toooo much choclate..>->
She walked the roads of Brenton,
He walked the nighttime life
His eyes glew with a feirce
And yet capitaviting blue.
Her hair was that of the sun,
in which he never woke.
Her eyes were the green of greens,
dark as the grass nearby a stream.
He watched her bathe in the black water
As nightime grew darker.
She lay alone, nearby the stream.
He came along, and started to sing
A love song, only hers, and she wept.
He walked away, into the dark,
With her calling for him.
Night after Night, she did so,
until she grew oh so old.
And she lay among the grass, nearby the stream.
He came along, not a thing changed, and kissed her,
A kiss that took her last breath, And he walked away,
Once more. A kiss that took a whole-life long.
This is supposed a love poem about a vampire, with the most beautiful voice, and a human's love. He left her, for fear of giving in to her...(humans want to live forever) And she grew old, and he came back, with the love song he had wrote for her in their affair. She died in their last kiss. -tear- I was trying to write a short story based on this poem..but...yeah...I can't write that long...Although it'd be worth a try.
Man, I love the song playing rite now.....It reminds me of the way I feel.
"Show Me How To Live" Audioslave
Well, I'ma go now. See y'all around, lovers.
Ashley Abriann Johnson
I feel as if you are the one to help me become the person I want to be.
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| And here we are once more. |
[13 Mar 2005|02:22am] |
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mood |
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 Messed up |
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Seruously. Is all we're here for love or something? I mean c'mon! -grumbles- I hate this guy. Honestly. ANyways moving on...SHOUT-OUTS!
Ariel Brown- Hey, Hey. The coolest friend on this earth. I can talk to ya -provided you aren't watching a ballgame or something...sheesh, you get grumpy during those!- Anytime, and you are so kool to trust. I'd never let anything get in the way of our friendship, trust me. <_______________________> AND A BUNCH MORE....xoxoxoxoxoxo
Celena Potter- My dancing partner. You are like soooo kool........Yea, you! LoL. Salsa. Cars, mwhaha. Why you no have this? Man, this sucks. You are the best friend also, I can ahve fun with you, and talk to you at ANYTIME...Although you do have the tendency to call me ASS...-glares- Love ya much! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Sara Osborne- Like AMAGAWD. -pokes- You're my kid, Tinker Bell, and I love you. I love to talk to you, cause we can talk about anything really. Its so fun when you come over to my house, and I cannot wait till my sleepover. All of us are bound to make it fun! Love ya much!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Danielle Adams- You REALLY need to stop clinging to my arm everywhere we go. Its annoying. Anyways, Vampires are hot. Yep. MWHAHAHA Our book is BOUND to be good. I mean c'mon! LoL. And stop asking me bout your make-up. If you can just be yourself, that stuff won't matter (thoug eye-liner is hot.)xoxoxo
Ashley Williams - You are like...My mother...and wife....how...messed up?! I love basketball games! -slobbers on- ANywho...........LOVE LOVES LOVES!
Sasha Collier: I love you alot. You are like the most dependent person I've ever met, and I can tell you anything. You are awesome. xoxoxoxoxox
Candice Way- LoL...Obession with Gerard. You're like....the coolest person I know. Really, I mean it. You're like...AWESOME...Yea.....I LOVE YOU! lol.....>> RUPERT GRINT ISH..LIKE....HOOOOOT!
Timmy Hall- Yea, you. I put you on here... Although you shalt never see it.-insane laughter- ANyways, I hope we do go to the movies sometimes. (y'know you won't stop talking bout it) And see I dunno...Blade 3 or something!! HOW HOT! Anyways, I love you. Yea. pretty blunt, but hey, can't go through life beating round the bush. Infinity xoxoxoxox
Joey Johnson - Yea Yea, you homo. -hugs- But your mine! I tell ya. Hope we do all 3 get to live in a apartment together. How fun! -flashback- Joey: -at computer, apartment hunting- Hey lets call that number. Ashley: -sitting on Danielle- And what would we tell them? That we're freshmen searching for apartments? Joey: I'm a sophmore. Ashley: I doubt that will make much of a difference, Joey. LoL You nut, xoxoxoxoxox
Shawn McPeek- -loves- You burning me a HIM cd...I LOVE YOU FOR IT! -hugs- Mwha....>> Even though you no have this...yea...What do I care?! xoxoxox My husband...and...father..>> Whoms also the wife of Ashley...whoses my wife...-grows dazed-
And all the other people, whom I love equally, You know who you are! -you have most likely been raped by me and such. Or I've...talked to you really..-
Man I'm bored shitless, really. Its almost 3....I haven't got any sleep.. I guess you could say I'm losing sleep over stupid things. Like whats going to happen tommorow. And am I going to die soon? Honestly stupid. I have weird dreams when I do sleep. Like funreals, of my parents, or This one dream, where elves in a cardboard box were talking to me about love or something, and I was ignoring them, and they started screaming...messed up trash.....I dreamt everyone I know died in some freak accident and it was the end of everything.....Time, exictanse....I'm weeeirrrd...Oh well. They'll subside, or I'll become crazy, one or the other. Maybe its from lack of sleep. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep through this night. I've developed a sudden craving for ice cream... Hasta La Vista
Ashley Abriann Johnson
Watching, Waitng, Dreaming.
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| Why me? |
[27 Feb 2005|09:45pm] |
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mood |
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 Why us? |
] |
Is life another sense of existance? Are we really meant for something or are we accidents, Not really meant to be here? Aliens can exist, are we aliens to them? Do they study us, or do they run from us? What are ghosts? A imprint left by the mysteriousness of time or are they spirits trapped? Do they see us, or are we meant to help them? Why are there so many galaxies and so many planets? Can we see the stars or are they gone? Is there a reason we feel or is it a state of mind? Why are we so different from others? Why am I so left out? Why am I here? Do I mean something, a string in the weave of the universe,and if I'm pulled out does it end the universe? Or does everything go on without me, without no memory of me?
These are all question that run through my head..
What would happen if I ran a knife across my wrist? Would everything come falling down? Or would I feel better, more relieved of my burden? Why does everyone trust me? Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Why do we trust the Bible? It WAS made by mere mortals. But who am I to question the word of God? The question IS, who am I? Again, question. So many questions, but no answers to any of them. Does anyone CARE? This is not a desperate attack to get attention. I am just saying how I feel. Memnoch the Devil. Thats a good book. Random thoughts. Forsaken. I cannot be forsaken because I'm not the only one. True, and heartfelt. System.. Why won't you die? Your blood in mine. We'll be fine.
Will we be fine? Are we meant to be happy?
Ashley Abriann Johnson
Waiting for life's final start.
02/27/05
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| Only once in my dreams. |
[22 Feb 2005|10:10pm] |
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mood |
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 Always Happy to write! |
] |
When all things come crashing down, and I feel as if I am lost, I just stare out into the darkness for hours, daydreaming till night comes, and then I take flight, letting all the goodness pour out of me onto ink-stained pages. This is my story, my life, my death, and my rebirth. I am Amber Erikson, and This is what my life amounts to. Me, covered with old, hand-sewn quilts and ragged clothes, in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, writing endlessly. They always bother me with stupid question. How are you so old and yet so young? How are you always so alive? Why do you never come out during daylight? The answer is by far simple. I am a vampire, one of the last and youngest of our kind.
-giggles and points- I have been trying to write some sort of story, but I never really finish. This is one I intend to finish. I don't think it very good, but its just the first paragraph. I'll add more later on. I'MA VAMPIE FREAK! Sowwy. I'm also trying to work on some short stories of ghosts and of Lycans. Yep. The little old blonde actually likes to write. Don't steal! -hugs reader- (Reader: Man, she's not very good. Ash: -pulls out chainsaw and runs after terrified screaming Reader-)
Ashley Abriann Grint. Ron/Rupert is mine! I tell ya!
Ashley Abriann Johnson,
Writen 02/22/05
Longing for life's real start.
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[18 Feb 2005|11:34pm] |
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mood |
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 Man....He's a happy guy. |
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1. First Name? Ashley
2. Were you named after anyone? My mom won't admit it, but she named me after Ashley Wilkes....I know she did...from Gone With The Wind!
3. Do you wish on stars? Every falling star I see
4. When did you last cry? About 2 days ago..
5. Do you like your handwriting? Erm...sorta?
6. What's your favorite lunch meat? Meat....Hamburger meat?
7. What is your birth date? 05/07/90
8. What is your most embarrassing CD? ....Britney Spears.....Mea!
9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Uhm, Depends..on how I treat me!
10. Are you a daredevil? Give me something and I'll do it.
12. Do looks matter? Pfft, No!
13. How do you release anger? Write...Write..Writ...
14. Where is your second home? I have alot. Ariels....Celenas....Danielles....School...
15. Do you trust others easily? Yea, but they always let me down, even slightly
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? A lil mini xylophone...HEHE!
17. Which class in high school do you think was totally stupid? ......World Geography sucks ass?
18. Do you have a journal? DUH! Yea..
19. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Nooo....Yea...
22. What are your nicknames? Ash....Ass(Thanks to Celena...) Dumb Blonde..
23. Would you bungee jump? If I use the bathroom before...
24. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No....Wha for?
25. Do you think that you are strong? Mentally and emotionally yea...Physically? Hell naw!
26. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Vanilla.....Its pure.
27. Shoe size? 9 1/2
29. Red or pink? Pink!
30. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? My weight....No....My ability to hide feelings so well
31. Who do you miss most? My Pappaw Marvin...It would be so much easier if he was here...
32. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back? SURE! Gimme something ta do...
33. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? I'm wearing green plaid pajamas....and socks..PINK!
34. What are you listening to right now? Freek-A-Leek Petey Pablo
35. Last thing you ate? A banana!
36. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? A bright happy pink!
37. What is the weather like right now? Covers make it warm
38. Last person you talked to on the phone? Sasha
39. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Eyes...The window to the soul
40. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Stole it from Olivia...who stole it from...Bre....apparently
41. What is your ethnicity? White....with a helluva lot of freckles
42. Favorite Drink? M.D.
43. Favorite Sport? Soccer!
44. Hair Color? Blonde....to the shoulders...
45. Eye Color? Brown...Chocolate-ish
46. Do you wear contacts? No...Not blind
47. Are you single? Yes.....dammit..
48. Favorite Food? Dumplings...
49. Last Movie You Watched? Saw...damn the doll....I can't stand sleeping now
50. Favorite Day Of The Year? Halloween, or Christmas.
51. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? Scary movies!
52. Summer Or Winter? Summer...Everythings alive.
53. Hugs OR Kisses? Hugs!
55. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? Oreo cheesecake!
56. Who Is Most Likely To Respond? Tew what?
57. Who Is Least Likely To Respond? Tew what?!?!?!
59. What Books Are You Reading? Uhm..Anita Blake, Meridith Gentry, And Vampire Choronicles series.
60. What's On Your Mouse Pad? Happy face. To remind me of life's little smiles.
62. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? Didn't watch t.v.
63. Favorite Smells? Watermelon...
64. Favorite Sounds? Anything that sounds good.
65. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Stones!
66. What's the furthest you've been from home? ....Ohio, Ciccinati.
67. Do you have a special talent? Holding feelings and secrets inside...Reading people's faces.......Telling where there's paranormal activity...Mwha!
Life is everything you make of it, whether you sit on your ass all day or do something about it!
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| Lonely. |
[16 Feb 2005|10:53pm] |
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mood |
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 Life is nothing great. |
] |
And life sucks today. Damn people Damn love Damn everything really. Everyone pushes me around and assmunes I'll get over it. I'm a human, even though I hate it, and I do have feelings. But no, its my fault. I let everyone push me around and get away with it. I am the one to blame. Well, of course. I'll just stadn aside and let you rip me apart. Go for it. Have fun. Just freaking kill me. Life is worth nothing but heartaches, pains, and in the end theres nothing. Nothing really. So whats there to live for? I know. Stupid depressed child. Its just your hormone's rushing. Mmmhmm....Good excuse. Excuse while I go slit my throat or something. Bye.
(Rant continues while she tucks self into bed with Mr. Ted. She will be better. Thanks for listening though!)
She's not the cheery kid you knew
Whose Eyes glow with a vibrant light
And whom in all her happiness
Never knew a sad thought.
Theres pain, so tightly locked in
And She, running from it all,
Dreams the dream of red colors.
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